From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: sigh
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 9:03 AM
*breathing in very deeply and (re)considering my academic future....
exhale. repeat two or three times. still not feeling any better*
dear Abbey:
i feel it ill advised for you to call me today at 11:30. in fact, i feel it
ill advised for you to call me at all this afternoon. the reason? after
weeks of procrastination, Dr. Time (Father Time's step-brother) is hounding
me (not a good thing. i don't like hounds that much). i will be spending
the day at the university, working. i have to first prepare for class
tonight, then work on my paper (or as the french might say, "papier"). this
will take me until about 4:30 or 5:00. then i will come home and eat, only
to return to the university for class. this is how my day will proceed. no
Abbey this afternoon (sigh). After class, however, is a different story.
would you like to go out then? pretty please with sugar (or "sucre") on
top? please inform me of your thoughts....
my yesterday was not as good as yours. it involved showering, writing a
paper, playing guitar, checking my emails, writing a paper, playing guitar,
checking my emails, writing a paper, playing guitar, checking my emails,
writing a paper, playing guitar, checking my emails, and so on. then i made
supper. when i tried to deep fry the falafel that i made, it disintegrated
into what looked like bacon bits. this didn't deter me that much, i figured
i could just throw the crumbs into my pita. the pita shells were too old
and i couldn't open them without them breaking. so then i made a salad.
the whole while, a fly (named jack) was flying around my kitchen,
threatening to land on my food. i screamed at jack, but he didn't seem to
mind. after dinner, i continued the pattern that i established in the
afternoon, but also included, "draw a picture of seizaburo and go to rory's
house" at the end of it all. that's it. very boring.
though, daniel told me that when his future political party (the
compasscists [compassionate fascists]) come to power, i will be the first
one to be placed with my back to the wall. unfortunately, he vowed to cut
my tongue out so i couldn't have any last words. bastard.
anyways, i best be going to the university. my paper awaits completion.
may i call you at around 6:00pm?
please give my regards to the people of mozambique,
mitchycle (?)
~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~
---------------------------------------------------------
From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: Re: sigh
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 10:48 AM
are you an "argentine" or a "argentinian"? or are you just a
bolivian-canadian born in argentina? "hmmm," i wonder to my computer.
i just learned about mennonites. jesus, why couldn't people in my class
chose interesting topics? jesus: "because mitchell, you picked the
only interesting topic in all of manitoba history and everyone else had to
settle for sub-par topics." i like jesus. he always spells things out so i
can understand them.
for a while i was the only person of european descent in the computer room.
i love canada for this reason.
sometimes i like cloudy days.
afternoons are better spent if one is with someone whose company they enjoy.
what is halfway between an "F" and an "F sharp"? (answer: a "D")
i look forward to spending a week on a small farm a few miles from maymont,
saskatchewan. it brings me back to my youth.
have you read any good books lately?
sometimes when the dog bites or the bee stings, i simply remember my
favorite things. sadly, it doesn't help the fact that dog bites and bee
stings hurt like hell.
if i were an inanimate object, i think i'd be a lighthouse.
i wonder if time passes quickly for a housefly?
i will call you at 6:00pm.
best,
mitch
~~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~~
---------------------------------------------------------
From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: Re: harrumph
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 12:30 PM
conclusions:
1) you are argentinian, not argentine. in my honours paper i wrote of
"argentine guerrilla-extraordinaire, Ernesto Guevara". in the future i will
write a history of "angentinian guerrilla-extraordinaire (and subsequently
martyrized demi-goddess of the poor), Abbey." it will be sweet
poetry.
2) jesus has the benefit of martyrdom, but you are prettier.
3) my musical question was quite sincere. it was only in writing it that i
saw the humour in it. and it even worked out because "D" is on the musical
scale, unlike "W" or "Q". true, i hoped that you would contemplate it for a
moment or two.
4) i do plan on bringing a camera to that small farm. i used to like taking
pictures of animals, but now i prefer old buildings that are nearly toppled
over from fifty years of prairie winds. it makes me feel dreamy.
5) funny. addison made me laugh.
6) if you were a pink tunnel, then i guess that my lighthouse would have to
have a slight bend in it. sigh. and what could have caused this bend? an
architectural fault or years of stormy weather? i wonder...
7) houseflies cannot tell time. i asked jack.
8) you can tell brother chad that i won't worry. also tell him that
mitchell sweat comes out of couches better than poo. actually, don't tell
him this. tell him he has a lovely house, or something instead.
9) my sister kate used to argue with me just for the sake of arguing. on
several occasions it almost moved me to tears (long ago i vowed not to cry
in front of her). i can think of one specific conversation about orthodoxy
and the protestant reformation. this one took place at the aforementioned
farmhouse and i had to share a bed with her moments after the conversation
took place (in fact, the fight took place while i was already lying in the
bed). I WANTED TO RIP HER EYES OUT, BUT I DIDN'T AND IN RETROSPECT, I'M
GLAD THAT I CALMED MYSELF DOWN (oops, caps lock). i haven't cried in a
while. hmmmm. that isn't healthy. i'm going to try to make myself cry
before i eat dinner. i'll look at some old photos or something.
ciao,
mitchycle
p.s. how do spanish speakers spell "ciao"?
~~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~~
---------------------------------------------------------
From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: Re: harrumph
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 2:03 PM
i'm awfully glad that you are feeling nice. i was tempted not to write back
for fear of disrupting the equilibrium inside your head (too bad i cannot
learn the chemical compostion of your nice mood, then i could force-feed you
the juice whenever you get grumpy), but i figured, "hey, i can't possibly
annoy/anger/wound/stress out dear Abbey."
its funny because when i saw that you had written me for the fourth (yes,
count them: one, two, three, four) time today, i thought "wow, i must have
been well-behaved". Your email confirmed this. can you hear me rejoice? i
am pavlov's dog and i just heard the bell ring. your emails sure beat
writing my paper:
i have barely typed five written pages of my paper. this is a long and
painful process. my arms ache (yet i still email you), my eyes are stressed
and unfocused, my mind is on an island somewhere in the south china sea.
when will it be done? i feel like moses and the hebrews living in the
desert and i'm only on day one. how many days is forty years?
earlier today, i was sitting at a table across from a young lady who was
doing her homework. she suddenly put her head down and began sobbing. it
was peculiar.
i must return to the desert.
goodbye,
mitchycle
~~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~~
---------------------------------------------------------
From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: Re: harrumph
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 3:42 PM
a mathematical formula: you look like jennifer aniston. jennifer aniston
attracts brad pitt and finds him a suitable person to have sex with. you
attract me and (one may presume) find me to be a suitable person to have sex
with (lighthouses and pink tunnels, aside). therefore, i am comparable to
brad pitt. transitive properties.
i hate typing. it hurts my forearms. i am much more accustomed to doing
hard physical labour then fluttering my fingertips against a keyboard. in
the past, i have been known to employ my mother or former lovers to type up
my papers for me. those days have gone. i must be a man. unless you want
to do it for me. oh wait, that would require you reading my work and a
harassment that would accompany it. no thanks. oh, no. this paragraph
seems a little negative. i really don't mean it. i think you're great,
Abbey... *as mitchell reaches into his pocket for the
"nice-happy-Abbey-antidote"*
adios,
ikem
~~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~~
---------------------------------------------------------
From: "Mitchell"
To: "Abbey"
Subject: Re: mood swing, antidote too late
Date: Tuesday, August 05, 2003 4:39 PM
silly girl. it was all a jest. i had to say something to anger you, in
order to make the antidote joke work.
besides, i don't see what is wrong with getting other people to type my
stuff up if they're willing to do it. i'm unsure how this makes you a
loser...
i knew i should have quit while i was ahead. drat.
signed,
the defeated
~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a
disciple of truth, then inquire.~
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