July 13, 2003

From: "Mitchell" 

To: "Abbey"
Subject: josef klima
Date: Mon, 14 Jul 2003 05:21:37 +0000


hi Abbey,

um, i'm not sure if you recall but i met you the other night at the bar.  my 
name is josef.  i was the one that thought you had a super cool car 
(celica's rule!).  you wouldn't give me your phone number, but you said i 
could email you.  so this is me, emailing you.  how are you?  were you 
pretty sick after the bar??  you seemed to be pretty drunk.  i was really 
surprised when that bouncer tackled you off the bar table.  i thought you'd 
be knocked unconscious for sure.  i hope you went to the hospital the next 
day, as the signs of massive head injuries aren't always apparent 
immediately.  i know this because my great uncle phillip was in a car 
accident back in the 1970s (before seatbelts) and went through the 
windshield.  remarkably, he appeared to be alright (albeit for a few minor 
flesh wounds).  a few days later, while shovelling manure, ol' uncle 
phillip's jugular exploded (a massive blood clot.  disgusting, really).   i 
hope you learn from uncle phillip: please get your head checked out (if you 
haven't already).

i've been thinking about you all weekend.  there's something about you.  
when you said, "skunky beer is like being struck by lightning; bring it on, 
zeus!", i thought to myself, "now this girl is a keeper."  i think you are 
brilliant.  and daring.

anyways,  i think we made a real connection at the bar.  i believe (as sure 
as i believe that the voice in my head is that of jesus) this is something 
that could blossom into a beautiful new relationship.  please, please, 
please email me back (i don't know if i can go on without seeing your 
mesmorizing blue eyes).
affectionately,
josef klima

p.s. i already told my mom about you.  she'd really like you to come to our 
house to meet you.  the doctor gives her day passes, so she's able to meet 
you sometime this week after tuesday (but she has to return to the hospital 
for her shock treatments on saturday, after which, she is usually a little 
dazed for a few days.  further, usually the day before she returns to the 
hospital [in this case friday], she is quite prone to violent mood swings 
and her nerves make her nauseous [often just a case of mild diarrhoea].  
still, she's out of commission, so perhaps, wednesday or thursday would be 
best).  i can't wait to hear from you.

~if you desire peace of soul and happiness, then believe; if you would be a 
disciple of truth, then inquire.~