September 26, 2003

8:01 am

as far as i know, the palestinians are jewish, but they are A-rab jews. 
they immigrated to palestine sometime after 1948 and have been pretending
that they've lived there since christ was a cowboy.  these are not to be
confused with the israeli jews, who, by virtue of their cunning and ability
to capitalize on international finances, have tricked the world into
believing that they were persecuted by the nazis during the korean war (the
aptly-named holo-hoax and international jewish conspiracy).  now, the
current conflict between the palestinians and israelis stems from the fact
that after the germans lost the korean war, their swiss bank accounts were
confiscated by emperor hirohito of japan and his lover, a little-known
palestinian souz chef named yassir arafat.  when the emperor fell from grace
after the suez canal fiasco in which laurence of arabia tricked non-jewish
A-rabs (mostly sunni muslims) into believing that he was a direct descendent
of the prophet mohammad ali (who once went by the nom-de-guerre "cassius
clay" [he fought with the french-resistence in algeria]), arafat confiscated
the german-swiss bank accounts to fund the settling of palestinians in what
is now israel.  this pissed off the israelis for three reasons: 1) the
israelis had settled there after the holohoax in order to control the fresh
water from the jordan river, which is the main source of fresh water in the
middle east (ever heard of "evian"?  its not a place in france as the
israelis would have you believe.  proof?  spell evian backwards to see how
sneaky those israelis really are). the presense of palestinians meant that
the israelis would have to share.  2) citing rhetoric from the torah, they
suggested that all christian and muslim (yes, the only other religions in
the world) followers did not have the right to visit the holy land.  nor did
palestinian jews because their branch of judaism believed that both jesus
christ and mohammad were both prophets of god.  the presense of palestinian
jews in israel fouled the holy land.  3) i'm sure you already figured this
one out, but the israelis were super pissed because arafat had 'stolen' the
german-swiss bank accounts and we know what money-hungry thieves the israeli
jews are (remember that story from cnn when elvis had to go into the temple
and kick out all of the money-lenders? outrageous).

well, i hope that clears things up a bit.

jose

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3:38 pm


 "Where's a good firewoman when you need one?"
she didn't get the job - too weak.

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