4:06 pm – re: short meeting
"What are you doing tomorrow (Wednesday) 12:30-suppertime?
Or even after?"
that really depends i guess. you see, Abbey, i still have not finished
painting the caddy shed. i spent all day there today (8:55am-4:05pm and a
five-minute lunch as my only break) and i'm still not done. this has
something to do with the fact that my sister called me there and informed me
that they didn't like the colour. that meant all of my work on saturday was
in vain and i spent most of today redoing it all. i am very surprised that
i should find myself frustrated by working for my sister. this has never
happened before, nor did i imagine it happening.
"Are you currently slinging burgers and dogs?"
see above.
"p.s. Pardon my disappearance last night. I was tired and I wanted to go to
bed. We'd seen and spoken plenty yesterday and MSN was purely gratuitous,
don't you think?"
still, i felt that your hasty disappearance was rather rude. oh well.
what do you have in mind?
regards,
thomas the doubter
that really depends i guess. you see, Abbey, i still have not finished
painting the caddy shed. i spent all day there today (8:55am-4:05pm and a
five-minute lunch as my only break) and i'm still not done. this has
something to do with the fact that my sister called me there and informed me
that they didn't like the colour. that meant all of my work on saturday was
in vain and i spent most of today redoing it all. i am very surprised that
i should find myself frustrated by working for my sister. this has never
happened before, nor did i imagine it happening.
"Are you currently slinging burgers and dogs?"
see above.
"p.s. Pardon my disappearance last night. I was tired and I wanted to go to
bed. We'd seen and spoken plenty yesterday and MSN was purely gratuitous,
don't you think?"
still, i felt that your hasty disappearance was rather rude. oh well.
what do you have in mind?
regards,
thomas the doubter
---------------------------------------------------
6:15 pm – office hours
professor v,
i was very distraught to find that you were not in your office during your
scheduled office hours this evening. the note on your door clearly reads
that you will be there until 7:00pm, however, upon arrival at 6:58pm, i
found that you were not present. i was (and still am) in dire need of some
tape. unfortunately, this is an issue that i am going to have to take up
with the dean of arts, unless i can blackmail you for sex. perhaps this is
a matter that we can (and should) discuss in person.
vale to you, doomed one,
anonymous
postscript: "Will not take no for an answer."
no.
postscript 2: please disregard the first postscript
postscript 3: in the unlikely event that you should check your emails before
leaving the school tonight (hey, i saw that you were parked in the reserved
lot. you can get ticketed there, you know), please find me in my office.
i was very distraught to find that you were not in your office during your
scheduled office hours this evening. the note on your door clearly reads
that you will be there until 7:00pm, however, upon arrival at 6:58pm, i
found that you were not present. i was (and still am) in dire need of some
tape. unfortunately, this is an issue that i am going to have to take up
with the dean of arts, unless i can blackmail you for sex. perhaps this is
a matter that we can (and should) discuss in person.
vale to you, doomed one,
anonymous
postscript: "Will not take no for an answer."
no.
postscript 2: please disregard the first postscript
postscript 3: in the unlikely event that you should check your emails before
leaving the school tonight (hey, i saw that you were parked in the reserved
lot. you can get ticketed there, you know), please find me in my office.
---------------------------------------------------
11:25 pm – re: office hours
why greg smith? why? why? several emails ago, i
signed off, "greg". then
you used that name on your next email. now you're "greg smith". do you
know greg smith? he made a cameo in one of my recent emails (along with
tina chen). or was it purely unintentional? or are you having a torrid
affair with him? he kind of looks like milhouse (not former president
nixon, i mean the kid from the simpsons).
how was class? i saw sunny afterwards and she started speaking spanish to
me. i was very embarassed (both for myself and her). i can see that you're
doing a fine job, though i noticed sunny is getting her donde mixed up with
her como (sorry, i don't have the knowledge for accents), but i set her
straight. look at me, picking up your slack. i should be the one teaching
the course.
at 10:30 this evening, i magically found myself in a bar that featured girls
boxing one another. how did this happen? i was speculating with a 'friend'
that this type of entertainment was the first step towards extinction for
humans. i was embarrassed for being there. imagine that: mitchell was
embarrassed twice within an hour. i must find new friends. i spoke with
meg tonight and she told me that she used my camera and took pictures of me
while passed out on saturday night. hmmmm. i'll send you the negatives
c.o.d. so you can try to come to an understanding with my generation.
there's a spider on the wall...
goodnight.
yours,
anita
postscript: i didn't actually check your office hours. they probably do say
6:50.
you used that name on your next email. now you're "greg smith". do you
know greg smith? he made a cameo in one of my recent emails (along with
tina chen). or was it purely unintentional? or are you having a torrid
affair with him? he kind of looks like milhouse (not former president
nixon, i mean the kid from the simpsons).
how was class? i saw sunny afterwards and she started speaking spanish to
me. i was very embarassed (both for myself and her). i can see that you're
doing a fine job, though i noticed sunny is getting her donde mixed up with
her como (sorry, i don't have the knowledge for accents), but i set her
straight. look at me, picking up your slack. i should be the one teaching
the course.
at 10:30 this evening, i magically found myself in a bar that featured girls
boxing one another. how did this happen? i was speculating with a 'friend'
that this type of entertainment was the first step towards extinction for
humans. i was embarrassed for being there. imagine that: mitchell was
embarrassed twice within an hour. i must find new friends. i spoke with
meg tonight and she told me that she used my camera and took pictures of me
while passed out on saturday night. hmmmm. i'll send you the negatives
c.o.d. so you can try to come to an understanding with my generation.
there's a spider on the wall...
goodnight.
yours,
anita
postscript: i didn't actually check your office hours. they probably do say
6:50.
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