September 15, 2003

 five moles have been sentenced to death.  the doctor said, "ew, that's a
mean scar on your shoulder, is that from a previos mole?"  it is.  i can
only hope by his reaction that the scars that he leaves me with will be much
smaller.  your nipples are larger than mine and i do not complain, so
perhaps we have both become acustomed to each other's bodies.  i hope you do
not take this to mean that you can fart and belch loudly infront of me.  and
similarly, i will not barf out of my nose infront of you.  deal?

i was not in my office.  nor was i with my stats prof.  funny, he has made a
cameo before.  remember? smiley?  haha.  please, please, please make a habit
of swinging by my office.  it will make me feel great.  really.  encourage
your ex-student to do the same thing - he/she sounds interesting (not
really).

my pa(w) is not so normal.  i may have told you that this time last year, he
nearly died.  he had problems with his blood and he turned yellow (honestly.
he could have been on the simpsons.  it was very strange).  last night my
sister turned to him and said, "hey dad, you're lookin' kinda yeller (not
actually how she said it, but emphasized to demonstrate her lack of tact)." 
there was an awkward silence as we ate our birthday cake.  my dad, a
worrisome insomniac, did not sleep last night.  he went to the doctor's, but
luckily his blood is fine.  if we were to switch fathers, be aware that mine
does not come with a warranty.

i have to finish reading my book on imperialism before class, so i bid you
farewell.  have a wonderful evening.  best of luck with your family matters.
  if neccesary, tell your dad that apes have sex outside of wedlock and the
only thing that separates us from apes is the negro, pygmy, and jew, or so
my 19th century social-darwinist friends tell me.

good health to you.

greg