4:53 pm – Where libertarians come to confess
i have sinned. this is my first confession in twenty-three
years and
fifteen days... upon my mother's inquiry as to why i went home, i calmly
explained to her that, "i haven't been very regular lately and we both know
that i won't use a public toilet (my quirks are well known to my mother)".
she then recommended that i drink some prune juice before going to bed
tonight. i think i will.
she then inquired about what my "friend" thought about her bruschetta. your
response was (in case you're wondering) that it had been cooked too much and
was in need of more oregano and garlic, but otherwise good. two lies within
a few minutes of one another. i lied to my mother to protect the reputation
of my "friend".
my mom then asked what i was planning to do once my "friend" decided that
she wanted a new boy-toy. i was astounded. "what makes you think that i'm
her boy-toy?" i retorted. "well," my mother explained, "she never says
'hello' to us or comes to the door when she picks you up. obviously she
doesn't like you very much." a little hurt, i whimpered that my "friend"
comes to the door sometimes, but that my parents just never notice. three
lies. i join the ranks of doubting thomas, macbeth, and all other people
related to the number three. please help me.
vale and happiness to you, my friend.
macthomas
fifteen days... upon my mother's inquiry as to why i went home, i calmly
explained to her that, "i haven't been very regular lately and we both know
that i won't use a public toilet (my quirks are well known to my mother)".
she then recommended that i drink some prune juice before going to bed
tonight. i think i will.
she then inquired about what my "friend" thought about her bruschetta. your
response was (in case you're wondering) that it had been cooked too much and
was in need of more oregano and garlic, but otherwise good. two lies within
a few minutes of one another. i lied to my mother to protect the reputation
of my "friend".
my mom then asked what i was planning to do once my "friend" decided that
she wanted a new boy-toy. i was astounded. "what makes you think that i'm
her boy-toy?" i retorted. "well," my mother explained, "she never says
'hello' to us or comes to the door when she picks you up. obviously she
doesn't like you very much." a little hurt, i whimpered that my "friend"
comes to the door sometimes, but that my parents just never notice. three
lies. i join the ranks of doubting thomas, macbeth, and all other people
related to the number three. please help me.
vale and happiness to you, my friend.
macthomas
---------------------------------------------------
9:48 pm – answers
"Did I ever tell you I like you?" i believe so.
"And not just sexually, either?" but more sexually, right? because i'm a
young buck, right?
"But, gee, doesn't it occur to your mother that I'm dreadfully, painfully,
morbidly, paralytically shy?" i cannot speak for her, but i might suggest
that she has an idear (maybe right, maybe wrong) that a "relationship"
(which, to her, we must obviously be having due to the sex that we're
engaging in) is a shared experience. if i like someone, i should share that
person with my family, so that they can understand me and be involved to
varying degrees with my pursuit of domesticity.
"And, doesn't she think it's possible that I would appreciate your brains?"
ha ha. this obviously isn't what is going on.
"Aren't you known throughout the land as of high calibre brains?" ever read
sun tzu's "the art of war"? i am merely participating in an intellectual
game of the "art of deception". it just so happens that some people (my
parents and my professors) are falling for it.
"And, boy-toy? What does that even mean?" despite the discourse used, it
has nothing to do with age-ism. i think its fairly explanatory. i'm the
schmuck that you're using to satisfy the longing in your loins.
"Wouldn't that be a horrible waste of my time?" not if the sex is good.
"Wouldn't that set me up for a good blackmailing situation? " my mother does
not consider such things.
"Wouldn't that be disrespectful to you?" most certainly. i think this was
her concern.
"Wouldn't that mean I was an arsehole?" i suppose.
"Aren't I the one who should suspect you of using me for purely sexual
purposes? having come to understand my sibling, katherine, i might (but
wouldn't) suggest that your "fear" is simply you projecting your own actions
on me.
"Isn't it obvious even from kilometers away that I am not predatory?" i've
told my mother just how savage the argentinian race can be - che, the
monteneros, peron.
"Haven't I been a reasonably good girl all my life?" i don't actually know.
there is much fog around the low-lying areas (read: details). i told you
that i needed a lighthouse, didn't i?
"Isn't her accusation tantamount to my father's?" it is debatable. maybe
even mass-debatable.
"Remember when you told me about one of my other student's sexual history?"
excuse me your honor, but whose on trial here? me or my mother?
actually, my mother's comment meant nothing. it was a joke. it was
forgotten almost immediately. she does not think you are a subversive
element that will ruin her son. she doesn't really think much about you -
good or bad. she would, however, like to put a face to a name. she would
like to meet you and say "hello". i think that's where the comment stemmed
from.
breathe.
goodnight moon.
"And not just sexually, either?" but more sexually, right? because i'm a
young buck, right?
"But, gee, doesn't it occur to your mother that I'm dreadfully, painfully,
morbidly, paralytically shy?" i cannot speak for her, but i might suggest
that she has an idear (maybe right, maybe wrong) that a "relationship"
(which, to her, we must obviously be having due to the sex that we're
engaging in) is a shared experience. if i like someone, i should share that
person with my family, so that they can understand me and be involved to
varying degrees with my pursuit of domesticity.
"And, doesn't she think it's possible that I would appreciate your brains?"
ha ha. this obviously isn't what is going on.
"Aren't you known throughout the land as of high calibre brains?" ever read
sun tzu's "the art of war"? i am merely participating in an intellectual
game of the "art of deception". it just so happens that some people (my
parents and my professors) are falling for it.
"And, boy-toy? What does that even mean?" despite the discourse used, it
has nothing to do with age-ism. i think its fairly explanatory. i'm the
schmuck that you're using to satisfy the longing in your loins.
"Wouldn't that be a horrible waste of my time?" not if the sex is good.
"Wouldn't that set me up for a good blackmailing situation? " my mother does
not consider such things.
"Wouldn't that be disrespectful to you?" most certainly. i think this was
her concern.
"Wouldn't that mean I was an arsehole?" i suppose.
"Aren't I the one who should suspect you of using me for purely sexual
purposes? having come to understand my sibling, katherine, i might (but
wouldn't) suggest that your "fear" is simply you projecting your own actions
on me.
"Isn't it obvious even from kilometers away that I am not predatory?" i've
told my mother just how savage the argentinian race can be - che, the
monteneros, peron.
"Haven't I been a reasonably good girl all my life?" i don't actually know.
there is much fog around the low-lying areas (read: details). i told you
that i needed a lighthouse, didn't i?
"Isn't her accusation tantamount to my father's?" it is debatable. maybe
even mass-debatable.
"Remember when you told me about one of my other student's sexual history?"
excuse me your honor, but whose on trial here? me or my mother?
actually, my mother's comment meant nothing. it was a joke. it was
forgotten almost immediately. she does not think you are a subversive
element that will ruin her son. she doesn't really think much about you -
good or bad. she would, however, like to put a face to a name. she would
like to meet you and say "hello". i think that's where the comment stemmed
from.
breathe.
goodnight moon.
No comments:
Post a Comment